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this one is going to hurt


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Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy

marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by

taking out a large insurance policy on his wife, with himself as

the beneficiary, and arranging to have her killed.

A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a nefarious

underworld figure who went by the name of "Artie." Artie

explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a

spouse was $5,000.

The husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that

he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his

wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid something

up front.

The man opened up his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill

that rested inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly

agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty

deed.

A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local

Ralph's grocery store. There, he surprised her in the produce

department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved

hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath

and slumped to the floor the manager of the produce

department stumbled onto the scene. Unwilling to leave any

witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle the

produce manager as well.

Unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by

hidden camera and observed by the store's security guard,

who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and

arrested before he could leave the store.

Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed

the sordid plan, including his financial arrangements with the

hapless husband. And that is why, the next day in the

newspaper, the headline declared: "Artie Chokes Two for a

Dollar at Ralph's Market".

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