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You might be a redneck Jedi if...

1. You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."

2. Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.

3. You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud.

4. At least one wing of your X-Wing fighter is primer colored.

5. You have Bantha horns on the front of your land speeder.

6. You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

7. You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.

8. You ever lost a hand during a light saber fight because you had to spit.

9. The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the “dadgum skeeters”.

10. Wookies are offended by your B.O.

11. You have ever used the Force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

12. You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.

13. Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the Dark Side...it'll be a hoot."

14. You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.

15. You have a Confederate flag painted on the hood of your landspeeder.

16. Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.

17. You have ever accidentally referred to Darth Vader's evil empire as "them damn Yankees."

18. You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

19. You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck.

20. You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels on the rocks during the cantina scene.

21. If you've ever heard "Luke, I am your father...and your uncle!"

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  • 2 weeks later...

22. That "disturbance in the Force" was just last night's baked beans.

23. You call your young apprentice, "Junior".

24. Your landspeeder has a gun rack.

25. You think the best use of your lightsaber is picking your teeth.

26. You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.

27. You think Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.

28. You wore burlap even before you started your Jedi training.

29. You call Hank Williams, Jr. "master".

30. You've got a stuffed womp rat from Begger's Canyon on your mantle.

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