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What to say to telemarketers.

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The phone rang as we were sitting down to dinner. I

answered it and was greeted with, "Is this William


This didn't sound anything like my name, so I asked,

"Who is calling?"

The telemarketer said he was with The

Rubberband-Powered Freezer Company or something like

that. I asked him if he knew William personally and

why was he was calling this number. I then said, off

to the side, "Get really good pictures of the body and

all the blood."

I turned back to the phone and advised the caller that

he had called a murder scene and must stay on the line

because we had already traced this call and he would

be receiving a summons to appear at the local

courthouse to testify in this murder case.

I questioned the caller at great length as to his

name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he

worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he

prove where he had been about one hour before he made

this call. The telemarketer was getting very

concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice.

I proceeded to tell him we had located his position at

his work place and the police were entering the

building to take him into custody.

At this point, I heard the phone fall and the

scurrying of his running away.

My wife asked me as I returned to our table, why I had

tears streaming down my face and so help me, I

couldn't tell her for about fifteen minutes. My food

was cold, but oh-so-very enjoyable.

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It would be...but not nearly as much fun. You know what they say about laughter :D

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Everyone calls me by my nickname, so if someone calls using my given name, my children respond "I can't talk right now. I'm dressing for his funeral".

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