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AndyH

Soliciting Offers for Manny Ramirez

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The D-backs will trade Randy Johnson for Manny straight up if you folks still pay Manny's salary. It's would have been an even hair trade years ago, but now we are getting the best of that deal (or worst depending on your perspective). Unless of course Manny's is a weave.

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Since he's had a lot of experience crawling around the ground after loose balls, maybe we can trade him to the Patriots in return for Belichick's diary. Auctioning off the proceeds will allow the Sox to acquire Marv Throneberry's (remember Marvelous Marv?) contract rights, which can then be traded to the Dallas Cowboys for Terrell Owens, who can then be given to the Yankees as a poolboy for Hank Steinbrenner. I think Owens and Steinbrenner would get along famously.

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The Yankees thought just reminded me that an option might be to sell him to the Yankees and use the funds to produce a Broadway play about A-Rod and his late night friends titled "No No Bimbette".

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Andy Being Andy,

Last night, did you see Manny hang at the plate and watch a pop-up? If the fielder had missed the routine play -- say, lost the ball in the lights -- Manny would have been standing at home instead of on first base.

On a happier note, did you watch the Orioles, that forgotten little team from Baltimore, humiliate Slappy & Co.?

Best regards,

Lori Being Lori

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He's a guy that goes to the bathroom in the left field wall in between pitches.

He wears an ipod during games sometimes by mistake.

He likes to roll around on the field like Belgarath describes.

He likes hair as Blinky aludes to. During a minor league rehab game 2 years ago, he left in the middle of the game in full uniform to get a haircut.

The problem is that sometimes he's not in the mood for baseball. It lasts weeks sometimes.

He'd be fun at a 7 year old kids birthday party though if you have one of those jump things.

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