Belgarath Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 1. The roundest knight at King Arthur 's round table was Sir Cumference . He acquired his size from too much pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian . 3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. 5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. 6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. 7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. 8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. 10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it. 12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here; I'll go on a head." 14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep off the Grass." 16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet." 17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. 18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. 19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. 20. A backward poet writes inverse. 21. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes. 22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion. 23. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sieve Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 These are great, Belgarath!! They're all "groaners", which are the best kind! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy the Actuary Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Some of the puniest. As the baby sheep said, thank ewe! The material provided and the opinions expressed in this post are for general informational purposes only and should not be used or relied upon as the basis for any action or inaction. You should obtain appropriate tax, legal, or other professional advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WDIK Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 I forwarded numbers 1, 3, 4, 7, 10, 13, 16, 17, 20 and 22 to a bunch of my friends. I was sure they would make my friends laugh, but no pun in ten did. ...but then again, What Do I Know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sieve Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Ugh! That one's really bad . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QDROphile Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Would this be an example of internet Cerfing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sieve Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 No comment (other than No Comment)!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belgarath Posted February 13, 2009 Author Share Posted February 13, 2009 The best I could come up with was "EGTRRA restatements are disGUSTing." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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