Headlines

[Belgarath]

For your viewing pleasure:

Proofreading is a dying

art, wouldn't you say?

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

>This one I caught in the Tribune the other day and called the Editorial

>Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the

>editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a

> correction the next day.

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I just couldn't help but send this along. Too funny.

>Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

> Really? Ya think?

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>

>Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

> Now that's taking things a bit far!

>

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>Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

> What a guy!

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>

>Miners Refuse to Work after Death

> No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!

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>

>Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

>See if that works any better than a fair trial!

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>

>War Dims Hope for Peace

> I can see where it might have that effect!

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>

> If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

> Ya think?!

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>

>Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

> Who would have thought!

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>

>Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

>They may be on to something!

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>

>Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

> You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?

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>

>Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

>He probably IS the battery charge!

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>

>New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

>Weren't they fat enough?!

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>

>Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

>That's what he gets for eating those beans!

> ---------------- ---------------------------------

>

>Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

> Do they taste like chicken?

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>

> Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

> Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

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>

>Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

> Boy, are they tall!

> *******************************************

>

>And the winner is....

>Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

>

>Did I read that right?

[Tom Poje]

actually I received a note from a TPA that read as follows ( I'm worried I may be an accomplice)

I am forwarding you copies of the amendments for the XX and YY Plan. They signed it and have executed the individual classes of partners. Thanks for all your help.

man, I know times are hard, but when you have a last day rule and don't want to give a contribution I guess things can get real rough.

[david rigby]

Borrowed from Jay Leno's "Headlines":

Bird Watchers fail to spot extinct bird.