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With apologies to Jim Stafford:

I was born a turkey (ba dum ba dum)

Been a turkey all my life (ba dum ba dum)

All my friends are turkeys (ba dum ba dum)

Got a turkey for a wife (ba dum ba dum)

They say that this Thanksgiving (ba dum ba dum)

Is gonna be my last (ba dum ba dum)

They want to cut my head off and stick dressing up my a**!!!!

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