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Lame Duck

What Happened to Humor?

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If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

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Sent to me by a former Marine. A bit long but the punchline's worth it...

One day, at the end of class, the teacher asked the class to go home, think of a story, then reach a conclusion as to the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asked for the first volunteer to tell their story.

Little Suzy raised her hand. "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we loaded the chicken eggs on the truck and drove into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."
The teacher asks Suzy what the moral of her story was.
Suzy replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."
Next was little Lucy. "Well my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched."
The teacher once again asks what the moral of her story was.
Lucy replied, "Don't count your eggs before they're hatched."
Next was little Billy. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam War, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down he drank the case of beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers." "He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands."
The teacher looked in shock at Billy and asked if there is any possibility of a moral to his story.
Billy replied, "Don't mess with uncle Ted when he's been drinking."

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If you are invited to join a Procrastinator's Club, and you decide to join right away, are you qualified to be a member?

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An oldy...

An actuary gets to the airport, and at the ticket counter, he says, “I’m very concerned about airline safety. What are the odds of someone bring a bomb onto the plane?”

The ticket agent replied, “Actually, that has been calculated precisely, and the odds are only 1 in 7.365 million, so you are very safe.”

The actuary then asked, “Well, what are the odds of TWO people bringing a bomb onto the plane?”

The ticket agent replied, “The odds against that are incalculably high. It’s essentially impossible.”

So the actuary brought a bomb with him.

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another oldy ...

A vulture arrived at the airport with two dead rabbits over his shoulder, but he couldn't take them both on the plane, because the airline rules say only one carrion per passenger. (groan)

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After 34 posts (now 35), I'm not sure if the original question has been properly addressed.

That wasn't humorous.

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BG, you're right, but then what does WDIK know?

In answer to the original question, I do have something (not telling what it is, though). :rolleyes:

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Humor is now being attended to by ACA (Obamacare)

Well, when I first read about ACA, I laughed and laughed. Then I realized they were serious. Then I cried.

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Guest Fernanda22

What's the use of grass if horse is died?

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WARNING: After a recent wave of identify thefts, the FBI estimates there are over 500 fake Obamacare websites set up for the sole purpose of stealing your personal information. So protect yourself and remember: the real one is the one that doesn't work.

oh wait, maybe I posted this in the wrong spot.

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Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?

The version I have always heard of that one was:

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

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Kitten Life Lessons: Bella (my 6 month old rescue) previously learned that she can bother the hand and make it pet or play with her. Bella has now learned that if you bother the hand in the middle of the night (not sure if it was a bite or a claw) that the hand's owner will wake up screaming.

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After reading all of the posts in this forum, I now know what has happened to humor. It has a very long and painful death. Keep up the good work.

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