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I can almost guarantee that Fidelity is not the Plan Administrator, but is merely providing a "QDRO Service" package to the Plan Administrator. If you want to apply pressure you, or preferably your lawyer, should apply pressure on the Employer, which is either the Plan Administrator or to a certain extent in control of the Plan Administrator. It might do some good if the Employer is understanding and is willing to raise hell with its Fidelity contact person.

The following true story is only marginally related, but your bovine stories here brought it to mind. Many years ago, we had a neighbor up the road who stopped by one day. (I should preface all this by saying that at one time, there was a theory that it was the "wrinkles" on the brain that were responsible for intelligence). This neighbor, who has since passed away, was what might be called a character. VERY bright man, but he talked like a true backwoods type who had never been off the mountain. Somehow, the subject of cows came up. He said, "There ain't NUTHIN as stupid as a cow. Brain as big as a washtub, and not a Gawd D*** wrinkle on it!" It occurs to me that if this theory were true, there are a whole lot of bowling balls running for election this year. What am I going to be thankful for this Thanksgiving? That the blasted elections are over!!!