The following true story is only marginally related, but your bovine stories here brought it to mind.
Many years ago, we had a neighbor up the road who stopped by one day. (I should preface all this by saying that at one time, there was a theory that it was the "wrinkles" on the brain that were responsible for intelligence). This neighbor, who has since passed away, was what might be called a character. VERY bright man, but he talked like a true backwoods type who had never been off the mountain. Somehow, the subject of cows came up. He said, "There ain't NUTHIN as stupid as a cow. Brain as big as a washtub, and not a Gawd D*** wrinkle on it!"
It occurs to me that if this theory were true, there are a whole lot of bowling balls running for election this year. What am I going to be thankful for this Thanksgiving? That the blasted elections are over!!!