You should be looking deeper into whether or not the plan may refund amounts withheld for childcare rather than looking into how to refund. This is a difficult case to make for a refund. Based on the very few facts provided, I would not refund amounts withheld or discontinue the withholding. More facts might persuade me otherwise. The IRS informally has said that changing or reversing an election is permissible, but the bar is very high.