survivoroh, depending on type of plan, e.g. defined benefit pension, there may not be any survivor benefits. Or their could be. You will really need to hire a lawyer competent in pension matters. Anything anyone else tells you here may be helpful speculation, but your issues are fact- and document-specific.
What's a 1099-r code got to do with it (don;t get me wrong I do know what you mean)? For example, often times a participant will close their account, and even roll it over. That's treated as a timely ADP refund even if they rolled it over. It seems to me the most important thing is that the money came out.