This is your first misstep and misunderstanding:
”When we are on notice of a divorce through the death certificate, we ask the estate or beneficiary to provide a divorce decree or separation agreement to determine if there is a possible DRO … .”
Setting aside the mistaken position published by the DOL about being on notice concerning a potential DRO, the plan is not on notice about a potential DRO when the “notice” is of a divorce from a death certificate that is not presented in connection with some other form of notice expressly about an existing or prospective domestic relations order. Divorce, by itself, means nothing under ERISA 206(d)(3) and does not to require the plan to do anything. The plan has to keep an eye out for notice about a prospective domestic relations order that could affect plan interests, and the plan’s written QDRO procedures should address the detail. Shame on the plan documents you are working with. Don’t go looking for trouble. You will find it in your actions, not in duties that don’t exist.
In particular, if you can ascertain that the divorce is a year or more in the past, you should have complete comfort about proceeding with the normal processing relating to payment of beneficiaries.
Especially in defined benefit plans, the participant’s former spouse is in a race against death and remarriage. I am not suggesting that death of the participant precludes a QDRO, but time works against a would-be alternate payee and the plan is protected against dereliction.
I also think that you are overly concerned that somewhere in ancient history the plan did not attend to a domestic relations order or an acceptable notice about prospects of a domestic relations order. The passage of time will also protect the plan, even in the case of the plan’s dereliction. Would-be alternate payees have an obligation to prosecute their claims to benefits. I would not go too far back in my search for trouble on that account, either.
I am not faulting the goodwill and good intentions of your concerns. However, fiduciaries get into trouble by trying to do too much and going beyond the bounds of their duties and responsibilities while trying to help, especially when there is potential contest over benefits. Unfortunately, bad things like those you fear do happen to alternate payees, usually through the fault of their incompetent lawyers.