Gabriel

I am re-married. I have a QDRO from my divorce some years ago that names my ex-wife to joint & survivor benefits from my pension. I did not realize that this meant ex-wife would receive lifelong benefits. I was younger and emotional and bad lawyer if I knew that is what it meant I would have never agreed to this. Fast forward I hired a QDRO attorney who suggests I offer ex-wife a lump sum to cover her interest for the years we were married and age differential in exchange for ex-wife to remove herself from the survivor benefits. Ex wife concern is that if she removes herself, she could potentially get no payments if I were to pass away. Does this seem like a good option to offer? My pension would accept a modification, and I heard it's better to have agreed upon new QDRO in order for court to accept it. Any advice?

Yes, I work for a Government body and I have contacted Pensions to see if I can name current wife to my share of the pension as ex is named for a certain percentage of the pension as well. In addition ex is named as joint and survivor benefit. I am trying to see if I can change that as her percentage of pension and ex living with significant other, full time job for years makes her financially comfortable. Where my current wife is not so financially well off and I think it is only right for her to receive the survivor benefit. I would have to amend my QDRO and I was told that the ex would have to agree because she is named as the J&S. I do not think I understood what that meant at the time of my divorce which was a good 22 years ago or I would never had agreed to it then either. Any advise?

have a shared QDRO I was told from my Pension Dept that I could not have 2 spouses named. I understood that to mean that if Ex is survivor benefit than I cannot name current wife as survivor benefit. She is to receive a certain portion of my pension ( not 100%) so if that allows me to name current as Death beneficiary it was not explained that way to me. If that is the case then how does Death beneficiary work? Would current wife receive a one time payment upon my death? It looks like one of the options would also be for life? I work for a Government body also so there Pension Policy is usually more stringent then general policies. Help!

I have a shared QDRO I was told from my Pension Dept that I could not have 2 spouses named. I understood that to mean that if Ex is survivor benefit than I cannot name current wife as survivor benefit. She is to receive a certain portion of my pension ( not 100%) so if that allows me to name current as Death beneficiary it was not explained that way to me. If that is the case then how does Death beneficiary work? Would current wife receive a one time payment upon my death? It looks like one of the options would also be for life? I work for a Government body also so there Pension Policy is usually more stringent then general policies. Help!

Thank you for your example, I appreciate it. I had a meeting with my Pensions Department and basically. Unless I get Ex off the death benefit. I can only leave a dollar amount to my current wife upon retirement and my current wife would only receive my last paycheck if I were to pass on. I fully intend on negotiating with Ex to have the death benefit removed. If she will not cooperate then I have no choice but to go to Family court and let the judge decide. Ex does not need my entire pension to fall back on. Ex recently dropped the alimony I have been paying because she had been violating the divorce agreement and co-habitating with a significant other. In addition she will get her share to the extent of her calculated interest. I just want her to give up the death benefit. Seems only fair as it is my Pension and I worked for it and I want to provide and leave something for my current wife.

Thanks for your feedback! Yes, it is a shared interest QDRO because it states that ex is entitled to the 11 years of marriage the figure is noted however it also says that upon my retirement I can elect a joint or survivor benefit my pension department told me that I can only have 1 death beneficiary and currently on QDRO this is what it says: Alternate Payee ( EX) shall be designated death beneficiary on participants (me) pension to the extent of the calculated interest. Participant (me) shall be required upon retirement to elect a joint and survivor benefit which comparts with alternate payee(ex) interests. So that is the part that names her as death beneficiary on QDRO and my pension department said I can only have 1 named and they have this QDRO so I can amend it but I was advised to speak to ex first?????? I am only trying to add my current wife as death beneficiary it should not be this hard!!!! I was told from a QDRO attorney that ex would need to agree to make the process easier and more cost effective. But if she attests I have to go back to court. My ex recently dropped the alimony as she is cohabitating and does not need my entire pension to fall back on. Do you think the judge would rule in my favor? I am looking to retire in a year and I can try and amend this now. I can legally request amendment before I retire and payments start going out. Any other advice would be most appreciated.

Thanks for your feedback! Yes, it is a shared interest QDRO because it states that ex is entitled to the 11 years of marriage the figure is noted however it also says that upon my retirement I can elect a joint or survivor benefit my pension department told me that I can only have 1 death beneficiary and currently on QDRO this is what it says: Alternate Payee ( EX) shall be designated death beneficiary on participants (me) pension to the extent of the calculated interest. Participant (me) shall be required upon retirement to elect a joint and survivor benefit which comparts with alternate payee(ex) interests. So that is the part that names her as death beneficiary on QDRO and my pension department said I can only have 1 named and they have this QDRO so I can amend it but I was advised to speak to ex first?????? I am only trying to add my current wife as death beneficiary it should not be this hard!!!! I was told from a QDRO attorney that ex would need to agree to make the process easier and more cost effective. But if she attests I have to go back to court. My ex recently dropped the alimony as she is cohabitating and does not need my entire pension to fall back on. Do you think the judge would rule in my favor? I am looking to retire in a year and I can try and amend this now. I can legally request amendment before I retire and payments start going out. Any other advice would be most appreciated.

Yes, I thought the same however because in the state of NJ I was told that the ex has to agree because it is a QDRO that names her as a death beneficiary. It is very confusing and again ex dropped alimony as she is cohabitating. She will get her equitable share for the years we were married from my pension. Ex does not need to rely on my total pension. I am happily married for 5 years and I find it only fair that my current wife be named as death beneficiary. Has anyone ever won this type of amendment if gone in front of the judge? It would save alot of money if the ex would agree, I believe that is why it was advised I talk to ex or at best give her notice of my intent. Than again it is kind of like asking a shark not to eat me!!! Any advise would be most appreciated.

Author Posted just now My QDRO states the following: Alternate Payee shall be designated death beneficiary on Participants Pension to the extent of her calculated interest. Participant shall be required upon retirement to elect a joint and survivor benefit which comports with Alternate payee interests. Failure to do so could put a lien on said pension etc: Based on that does it mean that I CAN add my current wife why would I need my ex wife permission? Kindly advise.

I have been in touch with a QDRO attorney and they advise I do speak to the ex first because they said she needs to agree. I am not certain that she will so if she does not then I have to go back to family court and have the judge rule on this. However being that ex dropped the alimony as she was violating the divorce agreement I do not see why I would not have a judge rule in my favor. Ex still will get equitable distribution for the length of our marriage from my pension. I merely want my current wife to be the death beneficiary and have this language updated in my QDRO. Any other advise?

I am divorced for 22 years. My QDRO had me paying life long alimony, however my ex recently dropped the alimony as she is living with someone. On the QDRO it has ex named as my death beneficiary. I am remarried for 5 years and would like to change the death beneficiary to my current wife. I belive that the reason ex was named this designation was in the event I should pass away and she would be paid her alimony. I would like to modify my QDRO and I was advised that I would need to ask her if she agree's first?? I am perplexed as this is my money... Should I ask ex first or just have lawyer send her a letter and make it matter of fact of my intent. Do I have a good change of the judge agreeing to modification. She dropped the alimony and legally my obligation has been satisfied. She is entitled to a share of my pension in QDRO which I am not disputing, I just want to add my current wife as my death beneficiary. I live in New Jersey. Kindly advise.