I’m divorced for 7 years and all property and assets were split but not retirement and pension (QDRO). When we split we used her lawyer who was mediator trained and it greatly reduced the cost. I hired a lawyer to look over what I was signing as I needed someone with a fiduciary relationship towards me. Divorce went fine, I had my attorney draft QDRO through my company trustee for 401k and pension (and I paid to do that) but my ex and her lawyer for some reason never signed it(didn’t understand or didn’t want to deal with it). My lawyer a few years go said don’t press the issue as if he never signs it then it will not be agreed and not split (she passes away - I do not wish that as we have children). Pension if I work for 30 years she could be entitled to portion the 10 years while married (1/6 of pension)401k when I had 600k her portion was 200k (from my recollection). Since I have been maxing it out and it’s grown is worth 1.2M. Don’t know how much her portion of growth would be but I imagine it would be 400k. Clearly that will need to be recalculated by working through the pension/401k trustee.Question: should I bring this up and settle (ex will likely think I’m doing that for nefarious reasons - just always thinks I’m up to the worst despite trying to give her what’s fair) or should I listen to my lawyer? Benefits to do in my mind are to get it behind me and have clear understanding of what’s in my 401k. Downside is dealing with her on this and purely losing financial benefit. Clearly there is a legal recommendation and a ethical consideration (I always try to do right thing but it will come with drama and argument)I appreciate anyone who has had experience on this topic.
