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My divorce was final 5/2017. I was married 24 years. My former spouse has worked as a police officer for 30 years. The QDRO to divide my former spouse's defined benefit retirement plan was completed about a year later. QDRO was then approved by the Plan Administrator, sent to the court and the actuarial firm that manages the Plan approved the QDRO and sent me the paperwork this past August to begin distribution of my portion. After reviewing the paperwork, I called the attorney who prepared the QDRO to inquire about the valuation date as I had understood it was to be the date of our divorce but instead the valuation date on the official paperwork was written as 7/2019. The attorney then called me back and proceeded to say that she had conferred with the Plan Administrator who then told her that the QDRO was drafted incorrectly as a Separate Interest (with Survivorship) rather than a Shared Interest. Furthermore, I was told that I would not be able to commence benefits until my former spouse retires (he has reached retirement age) and that the Shared Interest will not allow for Survivorship. This is a real turnabout and greatly affects the equitable division of our monetary assets in the Divorce Agreement. I have since retained an attorney and we are 4 months into a very slow process. My question is simply when does a QDRO become "set in stone?" At what point can one be assured that it is approved and settled without the worry that at some point in time there may be redress of it? Also, does anyone here have experience with a situation like this where the Plan Administrator approved a Separate Interest QDRO "by mistake?" I appreciate any feedback and advice. Many thanks.

I'm currently going thru a divorce. No excuses but trusted a few people along the way to guide me and now I'm very confused. Signed Stip of Settled in regard to my ex's Defined Benefit Plan says Husband will be required to take a 100% survivor option with a pop up. My ex's plan has the Shared Method and Separate Interest Method. We hired a third party to prepare the QDRO. I was told based on that language i had to go with the Shared Method. There was no mention of preretirement survivor benefits mentioned. We went back to court a couple of weeks ago and amended the Stip of settlement to add Plaintiff will agree that Defendant is a surviving spouse for the purposes of Qualified PreRetirement Survivor Annuity QPSA. Plaintiff is directed to Elect the QJSA if there is post retirement death. Defendant can elect to receive her benefits at the age of retirement. I'm the Defendant. I was married for 28 years to a Narcissist. If I am forced to go with the Shared Method, he will never retire. Can anyone offer me any guidance as I'm feeling very defeated.