Pension Poetry

[Guest Hilarion]

Somebody in the office just gave me a copy of "The 401(k) Safe Harbor Blues: A Rap Song," printed in the May-June, 1999 issue of The Pension Actuary. It put me in mind of a poem I read over 20 years ago, the title of which I have forgotten, although I have (unaccountably) remembered most of the verses.

The poem was written in response to the then-recent passage of TEFRA. The parts I remember are below, although the occasional "..." indicates passages that now elude me:

ERISA Muse, come forth anon

Ere yet it is too late.

Be quick! Or else 'tis come and gone,

Determination date.

If in a fortnight law doth hold

My benefits 'crued too many,

Forsooth! I fear it will unfold

My plan will turn top-heavy.

...to appease this TEFRA demon,

to be forced to vest and benefit

my overpaid non-key men.

O rosy 'RISA, guide me right

Tell me what to do

...that I might

top-heaviness eschew.

I don't remember the title, just that it was rather long, something to do with a sole shareholder and his defined benefit plan. Also, there is a second poem, in which the ERISA Muse replies, but I never saw it.

Is anyone familiar with this poetry, and can you direct me to the source?

[Appleby]

Don’t know here to find this one… but there is one titled “The Auditor Who Stole Christmas” by MICHAEL E. LLOYD – Published in the ‘Journal of Deferred Compensation’ Volume 1 • Issue 2 • Winter 1996.

It is outstanding!!!

I am not sure if I could copy it here –copyright laws and all .

If you subscribe to “Panel Pension Library Deluxe”, you can retrieve it by using the advance search feature and searching the phrase “The Auditor Who Stole Christmas”

[Appleby]

There are some good one’s here http://www.plansponsor.com/pi_type11/?RECORD_ID=18836 one-time sign up required. Good rounded newsletter