Red Sox and Yankee fans

[AndyH]

I take no credit for this. It arrived in my email this morning.

Red Sox and Yankees

> >

> > On a tour of Florida, the Pope took a couple of days

> > off to visit the coast for some sightseeing. He was

> > cruising along the beach in the Pope mobile when

> > there was a frantic commotion just off shore.

> >

> > A helpless man, wearing a New York Yankee's jersey,

> > was struggling frantically to free himself from the

> > jaws of a 25-foot shark. As the Pope watched,

> > horrified, a speedboat came racing up with three men

> > wearing Boston Red Sox jerseys aboard. One quickly

> > fired a harpoon into the shark's side. The other two

> > reached out and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious

> > Yankee fan from the water. Then using (autographed

> > Nomar) baseball bats, the three heroes in red beat

> > the shark to death and hauled it into the boat also.

> >

> >

> > Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to

> > the beach. "I give you my blessing for your brave

> > actions," he told them. "I heard that there was some

> > bitter hatred between Red Sox and Yankee fans, but

> > now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not

> > the truth."

> >

> > As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his

> > buddies "Who was that?" "It was the Pope," one

> > replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has

> > access to all of God's wisdom." "Well," the

> > harpooner said, "he may have access to God's wisdom,

> > but he doesn't know squat about shark fishing....

> > how's the bait holding up?"

> >

>

[mwyatt]

Nice, Andy...

Of course us Red Sox fans now have something in common with our "friends" to the South: unabashed hatred of the "Texas Con Man", Roger Clemens.

Feel good about our chances with Pettit/Clemens/Wells gone, and Brian Cashman soon to follow. Looks like George S. is entering the Al Davis stage of his life (jeez, can't the Raiders get anyone to coach for them?).

[AndyH]

Mike, I'll feel much better when they name Nomar and Pedro co-captains for the next 3 or 4 years, ala A-Rod!

[mwyatt]

Hopefully this whole trade talk is kaput and Theo can get to business mending some fences with Nomar, if you know what I mean.

One thing I still haven't quite figured out is why Nomar/Mia went and bought a place on the Cape. Last time I checked the baseball season pretty much covered the time that anyone would want to be taking advantage of the Cape, unless he's planning on learning to fly a helicopter to get to Fenway...

[AndyH]

You got a point.

Could be the P-Town ferry! Maybe they like whale watching. Or maybe somebody told Nomar that the ferry converts to a DuckTours boat and zooms through the Big Dig, up the Charles, and right under the Monster seats and into Fenway.

[Tom Poje]

gadzooks, I will never understand what you guys are complaining about!

I'm originally from Michigan.

Lets see,

the Tigers

won 43 games last year, and 55 the year before.

gosh, combining the two seasons yields 98 wins total. That is barely enough to make the playoffs! And that is two seasons worth.

Shoot. Football ain't even better. A total of 8 wins for 2 seasons. Again, 2 seasons worth of games and still not enough wins to make anything close to the playoffs.

[Belgarath]

Tom, here's what we are complaining about. 2003. 1986. (1978 Bucky bleeping Dent). 1975. 1967... Need we say more? Although you Detroit fans have tasted the bitter dregs of defeat for a little while, we BoSox (rhymes with BoTox, huh? How ironic) fans have endured agony beyond the scope of your worst nightmares. If the Yankees would move to Los Angeles, which after all isn't really part of the United States, then it wouldn't be so bad, but having them in our division is simply rubbing salt into the open sores. I refuse to watch the Lord of the Rings movies, as the books were some of the greatest ever written and I don't want to spoil them, but attempting to quote from memory the words of Gloin at the Council of Elrond, "Alas, when will come the day of our revenge?"

[AndyH]

And, Tom, now you've got the MAAAAHLins to root for, or at least more so than 49 out of 50 of us. And how many times have they won since 1918?

[Tom Poje]

sorry Andy, I am a 'homer'. Never interested in the Marlins.

Actually, I lost my interest in baseball many moonsago when they went out strike for the umpteenth time.

I keep wanting someone to tell me how many HRs Bonds would have based on how many games he missed due to the strike.

Belgrath: I understand your comments about Lord of Rings - read them in high school (not as an assignment). I enjoyed the movies (haven't seen the last one). Only watched the movies on the VCR, thanks to a gift or two. I would never even think of comparing the the books to the movie. I did buy a set of cassette tapes (dramatization, I think it was 13 tapes)and thoroughly enjoyed them, especially Samwise. keep promising myself that someday I will reread the stories again.

I also understand your feelings about the Redsox, and your feeling about that team from New York. I keep hoping someone will dethrone the Yanks.

[mwyatt]

Actually Tom, the unfortunate question about Bonds is how many homers he would have hit if he wasn't juiced up .

[Tom Poje]

that is the problem with any sports statistic. they are really only relative to their own time and place.

my own guess is that whatever 'juice' he may be on, it probably has a smaller effect than things like an over expanded league that has filled rosters with pitchers who have no business in the league, a strike zone that has shrunk, and, if I recall correctly, the change in height of the pitching mound to help the batters out.

[david rigby]

Likely most Red Sox and Yankee fans will fail to understand this, but the rest of the world does not care about your rivalry.

[mwyatt]

What, you mean Boston ISN'T the Hub of the Universe!?!

On a more serious note, the "juice", along with the other factors mentioned by Tom, have conspired to taint the tremendous increase in offensive stats. You don't need to be a regular poster @ alt.conspiracy.knuckleheads to think that something fishy has gone on since the strike back in '94.

Keep following the THG story. This could be pretty damn ugly for many sports before the story is through (had to laugh last week when Gene Upshaw, head of NFLPA, took offense at Bush's comment on steriods, saying that the NFL had solved this problem long ago - humorous since 4 Raiders were named in the THG investigation the same week...).

If you want the FDA's opinion, click here

FDA on THG

[RCK]

This whole thread has gone stray. Let's keep in mind the original posting.

Amazingly, that joke just came to me by a completely different route, with the following substitutions:

The role of the Red Sox fans played by loggers.

The role of the Yankee fan played by a tree-hugger.

The role of the shark played by a grizzly bear.

And the role of the Pope played by himself.

Still hysterical.

RCK

[AndyH]

Bet that one of these versions were "written" by a former Boston Globe columnist or a former NY Times reporter.

[AndyH]

Likely most Red Sox and Yankee fans will fail to understand this, but the rest of the world does not care about your rivalry. 

If my memory service me correctly, this is addressed to some New England people from a Carolina person! How ironic!

Actually, they did put forth a terrific effort. Maybe it's just a lack of a championship tradition.

[david rigby]

Which has nothing to do with the topic of this thread!

[AndyH]

Oh, but I don't agree. The Patriots success has everything to do with the rivalry between the Red Sox and Yankee fans. Many will recall the "Bill Belechicken" and "Tuna Bowl" games.