The Top 10 Ways to Get Off Jury Duty - Needed! Fast!

[AndyH]

10. Tell em that for a living you disaggregate component plans, impute permitted disparity, and normalize most valuable accrual rates.

Need more please quick!

[david rigby]

jessicarae.tripod.com/humor/jury.html

[AndyH]

Great. Thanks. More welcome!

[FundeK]

9. Tell them that you LOVE your job (as described in #10)

[E as in ERISA]

In response to one attorney, sit there with your arms crossed, pick the lint off your clothes, study your fingernails intensely.

In response to the other attorney, lean over listening intently to evry word being said.

If the first attorney is paying attention, he will cross you off the list.

[Appleby]

So very funny

[Guest TrustMe401k]

I just always tell the attorney that the defendant must have done something wrong or they wouldn't have arrested him in the first place.

Or my dad's favorite" Thirty days in the electirc chair!"

[Belgarath]

Tell them you're a lawyer AND an insurance salesman.

[david rigby]

Our intrepid webmaster went thru this:

http://benefitslink.com/boards/index.php?showtopic=16859

[Guest Roman]

Say you're an expert witness actuary working mostly for the defense and your clients have never paid more than $1,000 to the plaintiff.

[Tom Poje]

I have gotten a summons every other year for the last 8 years, so stop your griping! Had to serve once, once was over the 4th of July so no cases that week.

Once my 'number' was large enough that I didn't have to serve. The remaining time almost got on another jury.

now for the humor, a true story, which beats anything.

before getting selected people try to use all types of excuses to get out of serving. A man approached the judge and argued he shouldn't serve because he was owner of a landscaping service and he had a big job that started on Wednesday. The judge calmly told him, no, he still had to go through the process, just make sure he made it known that he needed a short term case. there were planty of cases that should only take a day or two.

well, the guy grumbled a bit and turned and walked away.

suddenly the judge called out 'sir' and the guy turned around.

the judge continued "I just noticed you are not properly dressed"

The guy had on shorts and some type of colored t-shirt.

The judge asked the baliff if there was a dress code, and yes indeed, plainly printed on the back of the summons.

So, the judge told the guy, you didn't want to serve, so you definitely will not be serving. However, I tell you what. You go home and change into some proper clothes. then come back and sit outside my office. And if, if I have some time in my busy schedule we will talk.