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Did she literally "receive" it, as in a lump sum? Or was the QDRO merely "applied" to your pension. I would wager that they set up the QDRO in their system so that a) you see a reduced future benefit reflecting the effect of the QDRO and b) she may be able to see her future benefit reflecting the QDRO. Regardless of that, the provision regarding survivorship can be changed up to the moment that one of you dies. But as your new attorney explained, your ex will have to agree to it and you will have to pay your attorney to draft and file the revised DRO. If I'm reading correctly, the same thing was done to her pension as was done to yours... you might start by pointing out that as things stand, she won't get a lump sum either. Make it a win-win situation... if she agrees to the change then you both can get the lump sum when the time comes.