Just thinking out loud here because we only have some pieces of information to go on.
IF the plan requires that a loan balance be paid off by your vested account balance upon termination, they would apply your non-loan assets to pay off your loan. Basically, if you owe $5,000 on your loan at termination, they apply $5,000 from your vested balance to pay the loan off. You are then issued a 1099-R for the $5,000 because it was "distributed" in order to satisfy your loan obligation. You don't get an actual check for the $5,000 because it was used to pay off the loan (and you already have the funds from the loan). This would be reported on the 1099-R as a code 1 if you are under 59 1/2, without the extra L that would be used for a loan default..
The "we can do it when we want" statements are odd though, I'm pretty sure you were talking to a call center.