I can almost guarantee that Fidelity is not the Plan Administrator, but is merely providing a "QDRO Service" package to the Plan Administrator. If you want to apply pressure you, or preferably your lawyer, should apply pressure on the Employer, which is either the Plan Administrator or to a certain extent in control of the Plan Administrator. It might do some good if the Employer is understanding and is willing to raise hell with its Fidelity contact person.