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A complete discontinuance of contributions is not a partial plan termination or a plan termination. The language is essentially the same in 411(d)(3) and 1.411(d)-2(a). Both places list three separate situations where 100% vesting is required. 100% vesting is required upon a 1) plan termination, 2) partial plan termination, or 3) for a plan not subject to section 412, a complete discontinuance of contributions under the plan occurs.

At what point in my life did the end of Daylight Saving Time go from "Hurray! I get an extra hour of sleep!" to "Ugh! Now I'm up an hour earlier!"?

I don't think the issue is true "termination" with an inability to make future contributions (and presumably some kind of wind-down of the plan with distributions due to "termination"); it is all about vesting. Not that an IRA discussion on the web is definitive, but you might want to check out their page specifically on this issue; nothing at all about anything but vesting: No Contributions to your Profit Sharing/401(k) Plan for a While? Complete Discontinuance of Contributions and What You Need to Know

No no no! A Hero sammich isn't a grinder nor a sub (and definitely not a gyro)! A hero is a hot meat sammich on a sub bun, usually with lots of toppings of the kind one might find on a philly cheese steak sammich - but the meat is more likely a hamburger patty (or three) or meat balls, etc. If you are ever in NE Ohio, look up a Mr. Hero restaurant. Definitely not a Subway....

You have hit on the basic issue with SIMPLEs. There is no practical penalty for missing the 60 day notice period for plan termination. You have to give an annual notice before 60 days about the ability to make an election. Suppose you do that on October 1, 2018 for 2019. Suppose you decide to terminate the plan for 2019 on 12/15/18 and you notify the employees at that point. OK, you are late according to the IRS website, but where is that in the laws. What is the penalty? There is a $50 a day penalty under IRC 6693(c)(1) for every day you are late providing a notice, but it is the notice regarding making contributions that is referenced. And even that can be eliminated with "reasonable cause" (but first you have to get caught - how does the IRS ever know about it?). But there is no reference to this "termination notice" except on the IRS website; it is not in the code, and the penalties don't apply to it. So, in our situation above, there is no penalty on the 2018 year (all is ok) and there are no contributions in 2019 to be penalized ("lose tax benefits"). Is the new 401(k) plan "in trouble". Nope. Does anyone think they can find an actual penalty for providing the termination notice late? I suggest it is really a penalty without a penalty! Which means, maybe you do have until 12/31 to "terminate" the SIMPLE!

Isn't everything? Life has come to a total halt for the next week, right?

You're looking for "statutory employee." https://www.irs.gov/businesses/small-businesses-self-employed/statutory-employees