pasted together is the following "history" of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot.

The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irrigation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.

The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, once asked, "Am I my brother's son?". God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Isaac, stole his brother's birth mark. Jacob was a patriarch who brought up his twelve sons to be patriarchs, but they did not take to it. One of Jacob's sons, Joseph, gave refuse to the Israelites.

Pharaoh forced the Hebrew slaves to make bread without straw. Moses led them to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Philatelists, a race of people who had lived in Biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 500 wives and 500 porcupines.

Without the Greeks we wouldn't have history. The Greeks invented three kinds of columns - Corinthian, Doric, and Ironic. They also had myths. A myth is a female moth. One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the river Stynx until he became intollerable. Achilles appers in "The Iliad", by Homer. Homer also wrote "The Oddity", in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.

Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who sent around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.

In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath. The government of Athens was democratic because the people took the law into their hands. There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbors were doing. When they fought with the Persians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Persians had more men.

There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbors were doing. When they fought the Parisians, the Greeks were outnumbered because the Persians had more men.

Eventually, the Ramons conquered the Geeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. At Roman banquets, the guests wore garlics in their hair. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his poor subjects by playing the fiddle to them.

Then came the Middle Ages. King Alfred conquered the Dames, King Arthur lived in the Age of Shivery, King Harold mustarded his troops before the Battle of Hastings, Joan of Arc was connonized by Bernard Shaw, and victims of the Black Death grew boobs on their necks. Finally, Magna Carta provided that no free man should be hanged twice for the same offense.

In midevil times most of the people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the time was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature. Another tale tells of William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.

The Renaissance was an age in which more individuals felt the value of their human being. Martin Luther was nailed to the church door at Wittenberg for selling papal indulgences. He died a horrible death, being excommunicated by a bull. It was the painter Donatello's interest in the female nude that made him the father of the Renaissance. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented the Bible. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.

The government of England was a limited mockery. Henry VIII found walking difficult because he had an abbess on his knee. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen". As a queen she was a success. When Elizabeth exposed herself before her troops, they all shouted, "hurrah". Then her navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo.

The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespear. Shakespear never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He lived at Windsor with his merry wives, writing tragedies, comedies, and errors. In one of Shakespear's famous plays, Hamlet rations out his situation by relieving himself in a long soliloquy. In another, Lady Macbeth tries to convince Macbeth to kill the king by attacking his manhood. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Writing at the same time as Shakespear was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote "Donkey Hote". The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote "Paradise Lost". Then his wife died and he wrote "Paradise Regained".

During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were the Nina, the Pinta, and the Sante Fe. Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was known as Pilgrims Progress. When they landed at Plymouth Rock, they were greeted by the Indians, who came down the hill rolling their war hoops before them. The Indian squabs carried porpoises on their back. Many Indian heros were killed, along with their cabooses, which proved very fatal to them. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.

One of the causes of the Revolutionary Wars was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. During the War, the Red Coats and Paul Revere was throwing balls over stone walls. The dogs were barking and the peacocks crowing. Finally, the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay taxis.

Delagates from the original thirteen states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin, were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin had gone to Boston carrying all his clothes in his pocket and a loaf of bread under each arm. He invented electricity by rubbing cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

George Washington married Martha Curtis and in due time became the Father of our Country. Them the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the Constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.

Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. When Lincoln was President, he wore only a tall silk hat. He said, "In onion there is strength." Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope. He also freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation, and the Fourteenth Amendment gave the ex-Negroes citizenship. But the Clue Clux Clan would torcher and lynch the ex-Negroes and other innocent victims. It claimed it represented law and odor. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltare invented electricity and also wrote a book calle "Candy". Gravity was invented by Isaac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the Autumn, when the apples are falling off the trees.

Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

France was in a serious state. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened. The Marseillaise was the theme song of the French Revolution, and it catapulted into Napolean. During the Napoleonic Wars, the crowned heads of Europe were trembling in their shoes. Then the Spanish gorillas came down from the hills and nipped at Napolean's flanks. Napolean became ill with bladder problems and was very tense and unrestrained. He wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't bear children.

The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for sixty-three years. Her reclining years and finally the end of her life were exemplatory of a great personality. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.

The nineteenth century was a time of many great inventions and thoughts. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Samuel Morse invented a code of telepathy. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the "Organ of the Species". Madman Curie discovered radium. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.

The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by a surf, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.

Are participant loans taken into account in calculating the value of a participant's benefit for purposes of the involunary cash out rules?

Anyone have any examples of the IRS finding that one person allocation groups resulted in a deemed CODA?

I hope this isn't too stupid of a question... back in April, we did the plan amendment and plan sponsor certification for HIPAA, sent it off to the TPA, thought it was all signed, we were good. They then sent us a whole new plan document with the added sections and a new execution page. I just ignored it, since we'd already signed everything. They now sent a letter saying how we never did the HIPAA stuff and they need it asap or we won't get our reports. So I am faxing copies of the amendment and certification.

If we have a signed amendment is it necessary to recreate the entire plan doc and re-execute it? It seems redundant to me. Is that normal?

1) Does anyone know if the DOL/IRS will be issuing a model amendment to comply with the new IRA automatic rollover regulations?

2) Does anyone know what financial institutions are willing to serve as IRA custodians for these small accounts?

Thanks.

Hi, just wondering if the 415© limit, which I understand to be the total of EE plus ER contributions in a year, includes post-tax EE contributions or just pre-tax EE plus the ER match.

Our plan currently restricts HCE's to 6% and our match calc is based on 6%. Next year we are adding a post-tax option once the $14k is reached. Do any of your plan designs allow for match to continue past the $14k in ee pre-tax all the way up to the first 6% of pay, or do you stop at 14k? Thanks.

I'm assuming that there is a requirement that plans be tested for nondiscrimination on an annual basis, but is there a requirement that a plan make a filing to that effect (i.e. in Form 5500 or something else)?

I'm working on a combined ADP test for a controlled group and have a quick question...Since one of the plans is a safe harbor plan, can I exclude this plan from the combined ADP test? I initially ran the test including this group, but the test failed and some of the participants in the safe harbor plan are getting refunds, which doesn't seem to make sense.

Thanks!

I have money coming to me soon and I am 53 years old. I don't have much in savings for my retirement. I know it is really late, but I would like to have something to look forward to. I have a 401K at my work and it is only a couple thousand in that. My work only gives 25% but better than nothing. I don't want to chance this money I will be getting soon into anything too risky. I am a low income individual.

What does anyone recommend I do? I have been checking out magazines and Suze Orman shows and I even thought of CD's. Any help sure couldn't hurt.

DOL Opinion Ltr 76-111 (and probably other cases or rulings since then) indicates that ERISA does not apply to a plan under which the sole owner of a trade or business is the only participant, since such a plan does not cover any "employees," citing Labor Reg. 2510.3-3©(1).

2510.3-3©(2) states that a partner is not an employee with respect to a partnership, for purposes of the definition of "employee benefit plan" under ERISA.

Facts: A startup company is an LLC taxed as a partnership and is owned primarily by a venture capital firm, but several executives own between 1% and 5% of the LLC.

Question: If one or more of the executives who own LLC interests enter into an agreement that provides for deferral of a portion of their compensation, would such an arrangement not be deemed to be an ERISA plan because it does not cover an "employee"? (Based on the regulation noted above.)

ERISA is an issue because the executives make up most of the workforce. Covering them all would pose a problem under the "select group" requirement for top hat plans. However, if anyone has seen a case or ruling that allows most of the employee population to be covered by a top hat plan (such as where everyone is management or highly compensated), I would love to see it. The highest percentage of covered employees that I have seen sanctioned is about 15% (the Demery case, I believe). Barring such a case, they need to implement a plan that would not be considered an ERISA plan, and I am hoping that a plan covering only LLC members (i.e. partners) would be such a plan.

Thanks in advance for any thoughts.

Client has a contract that will soon begin paying her $20,000 per month. She was a W-2 employee for 10 months of the 2004 calendar year. Her new endeavor is an LLC in which the contract will be paying her. The LLC will have a year end of 12/31.

She would like to put in a profit sharing plan and deposit $41,000 between 11/1 and 12/31 taking the deduction on her 2004 return. Her plan year would be 11/1/04 through 10/31/05. Her salary during the plan year will be $240,000.

On one hand I look at this and say how can an LLC (taxed as self employed) put in a contribution that is higher than she will even make in her LLC during the 2004 calendar year?

On the other hand it seems like it is ok to fund her profit sharing contribution during the plan's fiscal year and take the deduction on her applicable tax return. The loss generated would offset some of her taxes owed while she was a W-2 employee.

Obviously if this were an LLC that only made $40,000 in income during a calendar year with a calendar plan there is no way she could deduct a $41,000 plan contribution. Also if we had a short plan year the first year she also would not be able to deduct $41,000.

I feel like I know this or should know this but somehow have confused myself and I can't straighten myself out. Maybe I just need to sleep a lot this weekend and think about it Monday.

Can someone straighten me out?

A distribution payment was made to a terminated participant. A clerical error was discovered AFTER the annual report/valuation was sent to the Employer, and AFTER Employer paid participant what was thought to be the vested benefit. After clerical error was discovered, new report was provided to Employer. Revision of Report resulted in a lesser vested distribution to Participant. Trustee (Employer) was directed to contact participant and alert participant of overpayment. Participant refuses to refund overpayment to Trust. Payment was in form of lump sum distribution. I know that there have been Court cases where overpaid participant was forced to return the overpayment to the Trust (in some cases along with Court costs). Participant has engaged attorney who refuses to believe that such suits exist. Help!!! Can anyone give me some citations? I contacted answers @tagdata.com and they cited me a Texas case. Attorney spoofs this.

Do 457(f) plans really need to be amended for AJCA? The conference committee report states that deferred compensation will be taxable if (1) not subject to a substantial risk of forfeiture or (2) the plan doesn't contain the new rules. If a 457(f) plan provides for a substantial risk of forfeiture, then the provisions of AJCA should not be necessary. Am I missing something?

I'm looking for a phone number to reach someone at IRS who handles EPCRS matters and could discuss the viability of a proposed correction. After endless holds, transfers, and painstaking description of our issues on the EP taxpayer assistance line, I got a call back today giving me a phone number to call that turned out to be disconnected. Before I start beating my head against the wall again, is anyone willing to share contact information that actually works? Many thanks.

I have been searching in vain for some proposed SPD language to describe a client's automatic enrollment feature for a 401(k) plan. This is a classic "negative election" set up by which a new employee will be automatically deferring a certain percentage of pay into the plan unless they opt out, or opt to raise or lower the percent of elective deferral. Would any of you good, kind people be willing to share, either on the message board or by e-mail, a sample SPD paragraph that you might be using to describe an automatic deferral feature. I would be humbly in your debt.... Thank you in advance.

As an extension to the discussion on vesting in 403(b) plans with employer contributions, does anyone have any experience in how forfeitures are handled. If they reduce the employer contribution, is the nonvested portion of the account returned to the employer to offset the next contribution? Does he have to find a vendor who sets up a forfeiture account?

Any information on the practical application would be appreciated.

Does anyone know of a website or article that has the equation (or steps) for computing the maximum PSP contribution for a "sole proprietor owner", when the sole proprietorship has employee participants (in addition to the owner)? The plan is top heavy, integrated at 100% TWB, and the owner's income from the business is below $200,000.

I've computed contributions for for integrated corporate plans before, so I'm a little familiar with integration. I've also computed contributions for self-employed employer plans without integration (ie: if employees get 10% ....then owner can only get 1/1.10 = 9.909%).

But combining the rules of "integration" and "self-employed owner" together sounds difficult.

Thanks.

Can I have a high deductible insurance plan/HSA for a dependent child?

We currenly have a family catastrophic plan/HSA but want to drop the parents due to the fact hey are covered by the VA for their medical needs. Thus they would only need coverage for their dependent children.

Is this within the scope of the rules?

Company has a DC plan, all participate for 2003.

Can the DC plan be amended to exclude Key EEs and a DB Plan set up to cover the Keys and a group sufficient to pass coverage/participation/non-disc. without the DC plan still needing the TH min contribution (which would be nondeductible because the DB ded > 25% of pay.)

I have looked and find: "1.416 T-6 Q. What is a required aggregation group?

A. For purposes of determining whether the plans of an employer are top-heavy for a particular plan year, the required aggregation group includes each plan of the employer in which a key employee participates in the plan year containing the determination date, or any of the four preceding plan years. In addition, each other plan of the employer which, during this period, enables any plan in which a key employee participates to meet the requirements of section 401(a)(4) or 410 is part of the required aggregation group."

Its the "4 preceding plan years" that makes me unsure. Would the Keys have to sit out for 5 years and then the DB plan could be set up and not be required to be aggregated?

Or is the 4 year look back a reference to the old Top Heavy look back period and is obsolete post 2002 plan year?

Thanks

I have a participant who has seasonal affective disorder. She was taking meds but wants to try another route due to side effects. She asked if a light box that is specific to that condition would be reimbursable. Also if the replacement bulbs would be too. She said she would have no problem getting a Dr's note for this.