After getting the "it must be your software" response for 2 days, we finally got an "informed" reply from a supervisor that the efast server is down and they are working on it. (When we dialed in we got various messages that said we could not be connected). They don't know how long it will take to get this resolved and suggested that we either file paper copies of the forms or file extensions. Gee, thanks since we have about 150 to file by Thursday! Anyone else know anything about this?

After 21 years of marriage, I discovered a new way of keeping alive the spark of love. A little while ago I had started to go out with another woman. It was really my wife's idea.

"I know that you love her," she said one day, taking me by surprise.

"But I love YOU," I protested.

"I know, but you also love her."

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my mother, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

"What's wrong, are you well," she asked? My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

"I thought that it would be pleasant to pass some time with you," I responded. "Just the two of us." She thought about it for a moment, then said, "I would like that very much." That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous.

When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's.

"I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed," she said, as she got into the car. "They can't wait to hear about our meeting".

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy.

My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Halfway through the entrees, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.

"It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small," she said.

"Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor," I responded. During the dinner we had an agreeable conversation -nothing extraordinary -but catching up on recent events of each others life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said, "I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you".

I agreed.

"How was your dinner date?" asked my wife when I got home. "Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined," I answered.

A few days later my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her.

Some time later I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined. An attached note said: "I paid this bill in advance. I was almost sure that I couldn't be there but, never-the-less, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you."

At that moment I understood the importance of saying, in time: "I LOVE YOU" and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than God and your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till "some other time".

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby ...somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, "normal", is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct ...somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring ...somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.

Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good"...somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices ...somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.

Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother ...somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.

Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first...somebody doesn't have five children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books ...somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery...somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten ... or on a plane headed for military "boot camp"

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back ...somebody never organized seven giggling Brownies to sell cookies.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married...somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home...somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her....somebody isn't a mother.

Actual Analogies and Metaphors Found in High School Essays

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides

gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like

underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a

guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of

those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country

speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse

without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was

room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes

just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated

because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge

at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a

bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag

filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,

surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and

Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you

fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across

the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having

left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka

at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences

that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had

also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the

East River.

18. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap,

only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil,

this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not

eating for a while.

22. "Oh, Jason, take me!"; she panted, her breasts heaving like a

college freshman on $1-a-beer night.

23. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either,

but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land

mine or something.

24. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg

behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

25. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with

power tools.

26. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as

if she were a garbage truck backing up.

27. She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.

28. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in

any pH cleanser.

29. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

30. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it

to the wall.

On Line 1 do I include distributions in-kind of mutual fund rollovers? i.e. Aim Mutual Funds rolled over from employer's profit sharing plan to terminated participant's IRA? The form instructions refer to not reporting "marketable securities" as defined by Section 731©(2). .??

Do 2 different companies with common ownership HAVE to have the same benefit plan available.

Company A is own by 6 people and Company B is owned by 4 people (all who have ownership in Company A). Company A is a larger company and has a 401(k) Plan that does not currently have a match. Company B has the same plan, but is a smaller company that has not been doing to well and would like to terminate the Plan - because of the common ownership can they do that?

Thank you.

If an individual has three traditional IRAs with different custodians, is it possible to aggregate the values for the purpose of establishing substantially equal periodic payments? Can the individual then withdraw the required funds on a monthly basis from only two of the three IRAs as long as they meet the computed amount on an annualized basis?

Is the amount of the catch up contribution determined from hitting the ADP limit equal to the amount of refund (up to $1,000) that the catch-up eligible HCE would receive?

Suppose that a catch-up eligible HCE defers $5,000 and the plan passes the ADP test, but if he defers $6,000, the plan fails the ADP test. However, since he does not defer the most, others are required to get the refund and he does not have a catch-up contribution. Is that correct?

For purposes of determining if a 5500 is required for a cafeteria plan that includes a health FSA, has anyone seen information on how are participants are counted to determine its status as a small or large plan?

Is it anyone eligible to be in the cafeteria plan/health FSA? Or, is it more like the former Schedule F instructions which I believe referenced a participant as one who had deferred at least $1? The employer I am working with has over 100 employees eligible to participate in the health FSA, but only about 45 have been deferring. Thank you for any advice you might have!

Is there any recourse when 401k funds are distributed to the participant after a Final Decree of Divorce is entered giving the participant's wife a portion of the 401kfunds? The funds were distributed prior to the time the QDRO was prepared and entered with the Court.

I have a client that has a Profit Sharing Plan with a 401(k) option. They have informed me that they want to ‘terminate’ the Profit Sharing portion of the plan and keep only the 401(k) option. I did not think that would be a problem as we could make the Profit Sharing contribution discretionary, but they informed me that they want to ‘terminate’ the Profit Sharing so that they can distribute it to the participants. Any idea of how/if this can be accomplished?

I am sending several 5558's to the IRS via Ariborne Express. The instructions to the 5558 do not give a street address, they only give the city and state (Ogden, UT).

Has anybody had any problems with the deilvery of the forms without the street address? Does anybody have the street address?

Thank you.

Husband’s IRA is a significant part of his estate. It has been suggested that upon his death his trust should be the beneficiary of the IRA, with the trustee being given the ability to assign the IRA to either the marital trust or the credit shelter trust. Is this common or does the IRA have to be directly assigned to one of his trusts? Is is correct that required minimum distributions would be made over his spouse’s life expectancy (assuming the kids are the remainder beneficiaries) and if she has remining life expectancy at her death, over her remaining life expectancy to the kids?

If we do not have any employees eligible for Trade Assistance, are we still required to add that provision to the COBRA section in our SPD?

thx

Can a DB plan in a floor/offset arrangement test for discrimination based on contributions instead of benefits? I've read some posts in different parts of this forum that seem to conflict on this matter.

US citizens abroad may be able to convert regular IRAs into ROTH's without paying any tax upon conversion, especially with the advent of the child tax credit !!!

Think of that, the benefits of a ROTH conversion without paying any tax up front !

Does anyone know of any IRS case law for a business-owner/parent putting their young child on the books to legimately earn income for the purpose of starting a Roth IRA. What's the youngest age the child can be? Exclude the model/actor child.

I have a plan that has accounts with Ohio National Life Insurance Company... they provide a "Schedule D Attachment", which just seems to list their investments w/EIN & plan #. How am I supposed to figure out which are actually to be reported on my plan's Sch. D? Does anyone else have to deal with this company? Their "Schedule A Attachment" is just as worthless. All other insurance companies I work with clearly provide the information and where it should go on the schedules.

The plan has one account which is a guaranteed interest fixed account. Is this the only one that has to be reported? Or if any of the other accounts show up on the "Sch D Attachment" list- does that mean they are supposed to be reported? Of course their "support" is already closed for the day too.... how convenient.

Thanks in advance if anyone can help me. Luckily it's almost time to go enjoy the weekend.

Rachel

Just wondering if, and to what extent, plan trustees/administrators are maintaining a "before-the-fact" roster of parties in interest. That is, do you create and update a census of the business interests of the committee members and/or officers & directors of the Plan sponsor in order to avoid inadvertently entering into a prohibited transaction?? Or does everyone perform an ad hoc review only when the Plan incurs an expense?? If the former, I'd like to learn how deep and how often is the information.

THANKS

Can someone briefly explain the three-year testing cycle for sch. T. Do many people use it?

When a participant is paid his/her entire vested balance during the plan year and has been reported on sch. SSA in prior years, is that person reported again with a code D once they have been paid?