QDRO problem

[Lily]

Can you please help me understand. I had a QDRO drafted before and didn't even went to court at first. Then I had another QDRO drafted again d second time but these people didn't even give me any updates. I'm just a little worry if my money wasn't wasted the second time. My ex was a retired Army and been having a hard locating him. So these QDRO  has been telling me that they will have a hard time proceeding the process because they need his current address or email for them to send the draft for approval. I have been reading some comments that my ex signature is not really needed if he refuses to cooperate. What do you think I need to do with these QDRO people to send me any update.. since everytime I call the in charge in the office is annoyed with me and telling me to put in a nuisance. Can she put my case on hold? For just asking an update? I am currently in Philippines right now . And already paid them in full. And all I have is a receipt that they received the payment. I am planning to go back in States in couple of months to work on these. Anybody can give me any good advice on what to do.. 

thank you