Employer funded pension, 14 yrs old divorce with no QDRO

I had started for this employer in summer of 1998. I was separated from my Ex in in jan 2003 and the Divorce was finalized in summer of 2006. 
the  DRO only mentioned my401k and  not “all retirement plans” ( my attorneys mistake. He has since passed away ) which was 100% awarded to me in the property division DRO.  No QDRO ever filed. 
I retired in 2020 and I think Fidelity is asking for QDRO ( not sure b/c they are very non responsive and no transparency about the process). 

What if I ask my ex for an affidavit that he understood the terms of DRO to include all retirement?  If my Ex agrees to do this will this be enough for the plan admin/ fidelity? Or it must be a court approved document?
A few related questions:
Do I get the QDRO? Or fidelity will provide?
Do I use theirs or get an attorney to draft one? Does the QDRO has a place for AP / Ex Sp  to sign off without getting a % of pension? dies the Qdro outlines the  $$ of pension for both participant and AP? Does Fidelity calculate that in their QDRO?

Thank you for taking the time to reply

If there is no award (to an Alternate Payee) of any portion of any benefit, why does anyone need/want a QDRO?

Or maybe I misunderstand your situation.

1 minute ago, david rigby said:

If there is no award (to an Alternate Payee) of any portion of any benefit, why does anyone need/want a QDRO?

Or maybe I misunderstand your situation.

This.

I think your simple answer is that there is no QDRO in place for this plan.

What was provided to the plan (via Fidelity or other agent) in connection with the divorce? 

I suspect that (1) unnecessary and incompetent communications were directed to the plan, and (2) you will have problems with Fidelity because Fidelity has little proper regard for the law.  You may have to deal with the plan administrator to get around Fidelity.  Fidelity might be the administrator for purposes of QDROs, or perhaps the actual plan administrator.

I assume, skeptically, that that I correctly understand provided description of the property division in the divorce to mean that no interest in any retirement benefit was intended to be awarded to the former spouse and nothing was expressly awarded in any of the  divorce documents.

Hi thank you for the replies.

The concern I have is that the original DRO doesn’t explicitly mention the pension. 
The understanding at the time of divorce property division was that I keep my retirement. However the language of the DRO isnt comprehensive.

is it correct to conclude that absent of a qdro post divorce the DRO is sufficient?  

Thank you 

There must be a DRO for each plan.  You can't have a DRO that covers multiple plans, therefore, the absence of a DRO related to the pension plan would mean there is no obligation to split the pension benefit.  

Nobody on this message board can provide helpful answers when you clearly don't understand the facts of your case, use incorrect terms, confuse 401(k) plans with pension plans, and are simply unable to explain your situation.  This is not your fault since you are a lay person and not expected to understand this very complicated area of the law.   That was your attorney's job.   

You are using an acronym "DRO" that is a term of art for us.  It means "Domestic Relations Order" to us, but we have no idea what it means when you use it.  

One thing is clear.  If the court did not award you part of the other party's pension, you are not going to get it.  A QDRO is a method of enforcing a previous court order such as a Judgment of Divorce,  or an agreement of the parties incorporated into the Judgment of Divorce.  Whether it was a mistaken omission likely doesn't matter at this late date.  The underlying document should have spelled out out the terms in detail and not just referred to "all retirement plans".  It should have identified the exact names of each plan and the formula to be used by the Plan Administrator to compute your share.  

I cannot imagine why your ex would agree at this late date to give you anything that he was not required to give you.  I cannot even figure out what YOUR retirement in 2020 has to do with your entitlement to your ex's share of his/her pension.  

You need to hire a lawyer who knows about pension and retirement allocations in divorce cases and can give you an answer to your individual situation.  There are no one size fits all answers to be found here.  

Dear fmsinc,

thank you for your reply.

you are correct it’s difficult to get an accurate/definitive response on the board. However I am very grateful for the responses and the engagement this community is providing and as I sift through I learn from each post.

To clarify, I’m the participant and not the ex spouse who is trying to get part of the defined benefit/pension plan. I am the owner/participant of both of the 2 plans (401k and pension plan). In addition when I use the acronym “DRO” I know it means Domestic Relations Order” a document that is court approved which covers the division of assetS not just an asset .

reading through these posts I am seeing a answers that indicates since there is no mention of the pension specifically there is a good argument that it wasn’t part of the division of assets and therefore doesn’t need to be divided.

what do you think?

thanks

In what state was the divorce granted? 

How is it that you and Fidelity are even talking about the entry of a QDRO?  Certainly you did not ask for the entry of a QDRO.   How did the conversation with Fidelity get started?  

Is Fidelity the third party administrator with respect to your pension?  

Did you apply for your pension and they will not commence benefits to you because they want to see a QDRO address the pension plan? 

How did they know there was a divorce? 

Has the 401(k) already been divided?  

Do they want a QDRO dealing with the 401(k), or the pension, or both?  

Are you trying to give your ex a share of your pension?  

(Phone number deleted)

On 3/3/2020 at 3:13 PM, SYCS said:

I retired in 2020 and I think Fidelity is asking for QDRO ( not sure b/c they are very non responsive and no transparency about the process). 

Before you go crazy, find out exactly what they want and why.  No sense in doing anything until you understand exactly what they are asking for.  It might be some standard question that you just say "no there is no DRO for this plan" and move on.  Be persistent.  They are big and arrogant; just know that going in and keep asking.