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Guest zeppelin8216

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Guest zeppelin8216

Long story shorter...after 23 yrs my wife snapped and left almost 2 years ago. She took all the money, cashed in a community propery IRA and got a lawyer and rented a house and filed for divorce, considering no other constructive option. She hasn't moved forward on the divorce probably because she is getting free helth insurance through me. She has moved 3 times, and the last time, moved my 3 daughters in with her 2nd boyfriend (since she left) who she won't let me meet. I have tried to move forward with her filing by bringing her to a mediator to conserve money for the kids etc. because I believe she's sending the wrong message....but I still wear her ring as I'm trying to send the right message to our kids that you don't give up on people or your vows without at least trying once....I'm hoping my 3 pensions stopped on the day she filed....I've watched her throw thousands of our kids money away so many times, that the disadvantages to my kids have reached a point where I may have to throw more of my kids money at my own lawyer to stop the bleeding.

Although she's dumped the older girls stuff in my driveway, and told me she was done with them several times, and that I could have them (which I have most of the time), she filed her taxes as abandoned spouse, head of household and claimed all 3 kids. She took this big refund and hired another lawyer that everyone here uses to go after union pensions.

I didn't know what a QDRO was until yesterday...I got a "Suggested Model Provisions for a QDRO" from one of my pensions online where I have to choose options (ie shared interest approach or separate interest approach) and make a choice (cease/continue) payment if she remarries etc. under "shared" if I choose that option. The other 2 pensions are sending QDROs/proceedures to me that I have to send back to them for their approval also.

I don't want to make any mistakes. Is this a QDRO that's already drafted and simple, that I can ask simple questions about to conserve my childrens money, or is it time to get a lawyer?

All responses or ideas would be greatly appreciated.

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2nd the motion on get the attorney now.

I 3rd it.

QDRO's are never simple. Although some basic rules apply to all QDRO's, each plan has its own procedures for processing QDRO's. QDRO's are one of the things that most (all?) plans always have their own lawyers look at before paying out.

To repeat: Never process a QDRO yourself. Get the attorney now.

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