Ah, SoCalActuary, if only that had been thought of before the alt payee had taken his money and run! Would you need to have that written into the QDRO, though? Especially since most of the times, the bills from us (TPA) and the lawyers don't come until after the distribution occurs.
At this point, I think our advice is going to be that we recommend against it because there was no prior notification, but that if the Trustees REALLY want to charge the participant's account, it's their call, and they have to be ready to defend that in case the participant goes howling to the DOL. And then the next sentence is what kind of policy to put in place on a going-forward basis.