Plan Admin checked wrong selection on QDRO form

The plan administrator checked "establish an account in my name" as opposed to what she stated in MULTIPLE emails to me which was that she was asking ADP to expedite a cash out or me.  So, I thought I was getting a check but the money went into another 401K plan and actually lost money because I thought I was getting a check AND nobody told me the money was in an account.  I called daily/weekly asking for updates.  So now what?  I lost money because of this bungle.

Also, Plan Admin is telling me she is not "allowed" to talk to me on the phone because I'm not the client (my ex husband is the employee).  She says she can email with me but not talk.  Is that accurate?  That seems incorrect.  

Is there a paper trail - forms? It's hard to imagine setting up an account in another 401(k) plan without having you sign something (equally hard to imagine getting money out without your signature).

I'm guessing Ms Nicole means another 401k account.

That's typically what happens from the QDRO paperwork. The distribution requires another set. I don't understand the "not talking to you" part because once that account is set up, you're a participant in the plan, just like your ex.

2 hours ago, Bill Presson said:

I'm guessing Ms Nicole means another 401k account.

...in the same plan, ah, yes, most likely. 

Nicole, it sounds like the plan administrator has been somewhat unhelpful and probably doesn't really understand the process, but maybe not liable for anything. 

Normally your attorney would have send a certified copy of the QDRO to the Plan Administrator with a cover letter that, among other things would have set forth what you wanted to do with your share, that is, a tax free rollover to your IRA or to another eligible retirement account in your name, or a taxable distribution.  Sometimes the instructions are in the QDRO itself.  

Often the Plan Administrator will contact you and send you a form asking what you want to do with your share and you will make that election.  In my experience this does not ever happen over the phone. 

The problem is that a direct distribution from a retirement account (other than an IRA) does not require you to pay a 10% early distribution penalty if you are under age 59-1/2.  If you now withdraw the money from your 401(k) you will pay taxes AND the 10% penalty is you are under age 59-1/2. 

You narrative leads be to believe that you didn't have an attorney represent you in this matter.  I'm not sure why you lost money other than that the value of the account decreased by reason of market forces. 

I would tell the person you spoke to that you were the Alternate Payee of the QDRO and therefore you were a "beneficiary" of the Plan and that she owes you a fiduciary duty in this matter.  Tell the person that a  "beneficiary" is defined as "a person designated by a participant, or by the terms of an employee benefit plan, who is or may become entitled to a benefit thereunder."  29 U.S. Code § 1002(8).  In order to qualify as a beneficiary, an individual must have "a reasonable or colorable claim to benefits." Crawford v. Roane, 53 F.3d 750, 754 (6th Cir. 1995); see also Cobb, 461 F.3d at 635-36 (holding that to have standing as a beneficiary under ERISA, a plaintiff must show both that he or she was designated as such by the participant or terms of the plan, and that he or she has a colorable entitlement to benefits under the plan).

And tell the Plan Administrator to read  In Parsons v.  Board of Trustees of the Boilermaker-Blacksmith National Pension Trust,  Civil Action No. 2:20-cv-00132, USDC (S.D. WV 2020) that you can find at - 
https://scholar.google.com/scholar_case?case=12166270204191846086&hl=en&lr=lang_en&as_sdt=20006&as_vis=1&oi=scholaralrt&hist=bY5nDLcAAAAJ:14880692104701005079:AAGBfm2qi1_JaXLJvydb4f3quYTnTlLkbA   

for a good summary of the rights of potential Alternate Payees to sue a pension plan for benefits claimed to be payable by reason of a QDRO.  And tell her to consult their attorney.  

If they don't make it right ASAP, then you will have to have a lawyer become involved.  They can make it right by covering the amount of your loss when you take a distribution from your 401(k), and by reimbursing you for the 10% penalty you will have to pay. 

DSG