I suggest checking the plan's HIPAA Notice of Privacy Practices. It should address your options in this area.
More generally, the HIPAA rules do permit the plan to send EOBs to the employee for all covered dependents. However, there are rules that allow you to request delivery at a different address if you feel the disclosure of information to the employee could endanger you.
https://www.govinfo.gov/content/pkg/FR-2000-12-28/pdf/00-32678.pdf
Comment: Certain commenters explained that third party administrators usually communicate with employees through Explanation of Benefit (EOB) reports on behalf of their dependents (including those who might not be minor children). Thus, the employee might be apprised of the medical encounters of his or her dependents but not of medical diagnoses unless there is an over-riding reason, such as a child suspected of drug abuse due to multiple prescriptions. The commenters urged that the current claim processing procedures be allowed to continue.
Response: We agree. We interpret the definition of payment and, in particular the term ‘‘claims management,’’ to include such disclosures of protected health information.
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For example, if an individual requests that a health plan send explanations of benefits about particular services to the individual’s work rather than home address because the individual is concerned that a member of the individual’s household (e.g., the named insured) might read the explanation of benefits and become abusive towards the individual, the health plan must accommodate the request.